The Artist….in Me. No, it’s not Prince.

12 Apr

I have always wanted to learn to draw.

I drew as a child constantly.  Usually underwater battles or army battles.  And anything Star Wars.  I wasn’t very good, but it was fun and like all good parents, my folks lied to me and told me it was good.

Many seasons have past and it’s been a long time since I picked up a pencil and I wasn’t really sure how.  So I figured I’d find a good book and go for it.

I picked up a book by Mark Kistler called You Can Draw In 30 Days.  Which is really perfect for me being an inpatient son-of-a-bitch.  I read the forward and scoffed at Mark’s claims that I have talent.  I just need to be taught.  I already bought his damn book.  He doesn’t need to butter me up.

Mr. Kistler  ensures me if I give him 20-30 minutes a day for 30 days, I’ll be MUCH better than when I started.  I know I’ll be better,  but I’m curious about the “much” part.  I figured this would be kind of fun and put him to the test.  The commitment is small and I’d like to ensure myself that I am a terrible artist with absolutely zero God-given talent.  And to keep me honest, I figure I’d post it online, so in the likely event of failure, it’s something else you can rip on me for.

Without further adieu, I give you “The Pretest”.

Mark said to do this pretest and I don’t have to show anyone.  No one will ever see it.  I’m going to cheat a bit and show off my lack of talent for your amusement.  He wanted me to spend two minutes or so drawing a house, a plane, and a bagel.  I did it.  And here’s what they look like.  This will apparently be used as the benchmark at the end of 30 days to see how much I’ve grown.  I can’t wait.

  Well, here’s the house.  I imagine it to be a ghetto crack house.  Inside lives Meth Kingpin Jr. and his bitch.  The cute little smoke coming out of the chimney is not from a cozy fire…..it’s meth fumes because they’re cooking.

Here’s my airplane.  I have no clue what the star and the circle on the tail mean.  This plane most likely is crashing.’

Here’s my bagel.  It looks more like a doughnut no one would eat to me.

Ok Mark.  This Buds for you.  I’ll see you in 30 days and we’ll just see how good of a teacher you are!

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4 Responses to “The Artist….in Me. No, it’s not Prince.”

  1. Anonymous April 13, 2012 at 6:16 am #

    I was gonna destroy you, until I read “two minute time limit”. Lots of room for improvement, but I like your Plane and Bagel….nice use of depth…Love your writing

    • Brentallica April 13, 2012 at 9:26 am #

      I cheated. I spent an hour on each one. Pretty good huh?

  2. Grotski April 24, 2012 at 3:04 am #

    Enjoy the writing and the drawing! Love to see how this ends up after 30 days. Its basically true that drawing is more practice than built-in genius. I also assume that those are coils of barbed wire in front of the house as opposed to bushes.

    • Brentallica April 24, 2012 at 5:49 am #

      Thanks man. I’m glad your keen eye noticed my barbed wire coils. It’s to keep rival drug dealers at bay.

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