I have always wanted to learn to draw.
I drew as a child constantly. Usually underwater battles or army battles. And anything Star Wars. I wasn’t very good, but it was fun and like all good parents, my folks lied to me and told me it was good.
Many seasons have past and it’s been a long time since I picked up a pencil and I wasn’t really sure how. So I figured I’d find a good book and go for it.
I picked up a book by Mark Kistler called You Can Draw In 30 Days. Which is really perfect for me being an inpatient son-of-a-bitch. I read the forward and scoffed at Mark’s claims that I have talent. I just need to be taught. I already bought his damn book. He doesn’t need to butter me up.
Mr. Kistler ensures me if I give him 20-30 minutes a day for 30 days, I’ll be MUCH better than when I started. I know I’ll be better, but I’m curious about the “much” part. I figured this would be kind of fun and put him to the test. The commitment is small and I’d like to ensure myself that I am a terrible artist with absolutely zero God-given talent. And to keep me honest, I figure I’d post it online, so in the likely event of failure, it’s something else you can rip on me for.
Without further adieu, I give you “The Pretest”.
Mark said to do this pretest and I don’t have to show anyone. No one will ever see it. I’m going to cheat a bit and show off my lack of talent for your amusement. He wanted me to spend two minutes or so drawing a house, a plane, and a bagel. I did it. And here’s what they look like. This will apparently be used as the benchmark at the end of 30 days to see how much I’ve grown. I can’t wait.
Well, here’s the house. I imagine it to be a ghetto crack house. Inside lives Meth Kingpin Jr. and his bitch. The cute little smoke coming out of the chimney is not from a cozy fire…..it’s meth fumes because they’re cooking.
Here’s my airplane. I have no clue what the star and the circle on the tail mean. This plane most likely is crashing.’
Here’s my bagel. It looks more like a doughnut no one would eat to me.
Ok Mark. This Buds for you. I’ll see you in 30 days and we’ll just see how good of a teacher you are!