While many Americans celebrate our country’s Independence today, I’d like to call attention to the huge population of American dipshits we have living amongst us without the slightest idea of what independence is. Many of these imbeciles, are the folks eating hotdogs, blowing their fingers off, getting hammered, and most likely calling in to work sick in the morning if by some miracle they’re gainfully employed. They’re also one of the reasons why this country is so fucked up.
- Having a child you planned to have because you understand the ramifications of having one, are in a longterm, healthy relationship, and can afford Pampers & daycare.
- Moving out of your parent;s house and maybe take care of yourself for a change. You’re 28. It’s time.
- Planning for the future.
- Having a full time job and managing to not get yourself fired.
- Buying your own shit without using imaginary money.
- Having priorities. The next time you’re shoplifting, ask yourself this: Do you need the new Little Jon CD or formula for your kid? Which one is the actual priority.
- Understanding financing and buying a house you can actually afford.
- Paying your bills on time. Bills are not surprises that randomly show up in the mail. Get a calendar and learn to use it.
- Realizing that being a character on Teen Mom is not a career choice.
I’m having trouble celebrating independence when all I see are more and more American’s living off the government tit and making themselves more and more dependent and running away from their responsibilities. The continual cycle of idiots bearing and raising new ones will pretty much guarantee this is one of the last 4th of July’s we’ll have to celebrate. So live it up!
Happy 4th of July!