The Ketchup Chornicles … Individual packets or solid gold?!?

16 Jun

There’s nothing more humiliating for a ketch-a-holic then to ask for ketchup at his favorite fast food joint.  Nothing says “I’m a freak of nature” like asking for a “big handful” of ketchup three times-in-a-row.  “You must REALLY like ketchup!”

“Oh, do you think so Einstein?!? ”

If you ask for ketchup at the counter, you’re lucky if they hand you three packets.  It’s as if they’re reaching into Jack Sparrow’s treasure chest and handing you gold doubloons!  Are there really normal people who only use three packets for a triple Whopper & a large fry?  I guess those people are a lot better than me…  I don’t know how you do it.

If I were president, it would be federal law that all McDonald’s are required to have a pump ketchup dispenser to save me this agonizing ordeal.  Oh and the little ketchup cups?  Could they possibly make them smaller?  You really believe shrinking the cup will cure my insatiable appetite for my sumptuous red ooze?  If these things get much smaller, I’ll be shooting a spurt directly into my hand.

I want full size Dixie cups to be mandatory next to each mandatory pump dispenser so I don’t have to return every 2 minutes and fill 3 more teeny, tiny cups.

To be continued…

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